Choices…

           Things in life are never constant. Big or small, there are always a lot of decisions that you have to make, every day, every minute. Some are resolved in a snap, while the others, you try to push them away until the last moment, when it is absolutely necessary for you to move on from that crossroad. In most cases, turning back is never an option. Your life would have been entirely different if you had made just one different decision. But then, what is life if not about taking chances and making choices?

The battle between your brain and your heart, especially, is something that can never be resolved to your satisfaction. You sway like a tiny little flower caught in the fury of the hurricane- your heart fluttering to make you listen to it, as your brain fights back with reason on its side. In the battle of reason versus emotion, the emotional decision stands victorious in most cases, unless the person is extremely strong-willed. In any case, no matter which decision you take, you end up losing the battle, imagining what life would have been like if you had chosen otherwise.

Recently, I was stuck at one of these cross-roads, unable to make a decision and move forward. The more the opinions I got from the people that I trusted, the more I started oscillating- and the fact that everyone’s opinion was against mine, did not help. I wrote down all the reasons that I could think of, for standing by my option, to make sure that it was not just another ego-maniacal decision of mine to prove the others wrong. It wasn’t. I had reasons enough to satisfy me, and so, I bravely set forth in the path that I had chosen. I made the deciding phone call that very day, so as not to give myself more time to be influenced onto the other side.

As more people got to know about the step that I had voluntarily taken, they approached me, one by one, wanting to know the reason behind this “rash” decision of mine. Though I fully appreciated their concern for me and my well-being, I wished they would give me the benefit of the doubt and realize that I would not have taken such an important decision without giving it a lot of thought and that I would not have taken this step unless I had reasons enough to do so.  As they tried to convince me that my decision and its consequences were a complete web of mistakes that I had woven for myself, I felt my self-confidence shatter, a little more with every other person who came up to me.

But that night, as I curled up in my bed wetting my pillow with my silent tears, I realized that this was MY life; and the only opinion that counted was that of mine, and mine alone. I wiped my eyes dry and decided to lead the life the way I wanted to, not how the others wanted me to or thought I should. And that was when I remembered this quote that I had chanced upon years ago.

“Opinions are like feet. There are always a couple, and they always stink”

It makes total sense now…

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39 thoughts on “Choices…

  1. I am yet to regret life changing decisions that were right for me – even though wrong in every other (people’s) ideas of what should be… We’re all unique, and that’s worth celebrating. I hope you are at peace 🙂

  2. Dear Sumithra, no one knows your life and about it’s welfare as much as you do. Listen to yourself and to your heart. Trust me, years on, you’ll be glad that you did!

    Love & hugs,
    Teju

    • It certainly caught my eye!! Read it somewhere a few years back, and now have no idea where I had noted it down… That is why I couldn’t give the person the credit deserved!!

  3. Reblogged this on johndwmacdonald and commented:
    Spot on. Actually you’ll find that ‘They’ stop sticking their noses in once you have comprehensively ignored their ‘advice’ once or twice. You’ll also find ‘they’ actually respect you more. A few will drop away – good riddance! New ‘they’s will arise from your decision, who respect boldness and independence more and travel with you along the way. I agree also that this is beautifiully written. By this time of the evening something has got to grab the attention and hold it to be read.. your post is exemplary!

    Spot on. Actually you’ll find that ‘They’ stop sticking their noses in once you have comprehensively ignored their ‘advice’ once or twice. Youll also find ‘they’ actually respect ypou more. A few will drop away -good riddance! New ‘they’s will arise from your decision who respect boldness and independence more and travel with you along the way. I agree also that this is beautifiully written. By this time of the evening something has got to grab the attention and hold it to be read.. your post is exemplary.

      • My pleasure. Indeed the pleasure and privilege is mine. It is a very fine piece of writing. I have reposted my comments and put a picture on my blog to attract people hopefully to read this. I am still a recent blogger and so my following is quite small – but a select and thoughtfull bunch of folks- including your very good self. Blessings!! John

      • You are very special. The “they” you have consulted are absolutely NOT your group of associates you need to step onwards. You need folk who value your bold choices and help you to realize them.. Blessings – Macdonald!!

  4. I can relate to the torn up feeling you had for making a decision that is not supported by your loved ones. Their say matter and they say because they care, but the decision you have to make affects you. I love that your heart told you that.

  5. Excellent post Sumithra and I wish you all that you wish yourself. For what it’s worth I have made a number of decisions in my life based upon my opinion rather others. Some turned great and I was glad I listened to myself. Others didn’t turn out the way I had hoped, but it didn’t matter because I adapted and changed and it turned OK, different but OK.

    In life we never make wrong decisions, we make decisions based upon the information we have at that time including the info from our 6th sense (our gut feeling which is very rarely wrong), it is only later in life in hindsight do we think that maybe a certain decision was wrong!
    There is a world famous Rock band from the UK and in 1969 they offered me the job as the drummer, they were unknown at that time but they had a tour of America lined up and their first album was in the bag. I took the decision to turn them down. It wasn’t until 20 years later when I was going through an old Diary that came across the entry that said audition for xxxxxxxxx at Cabin Studios at 2.00pm. It was then that I recognised the name of the band, and thought wow what a wrong decision that was!
    But was it. I am still married to my wonderful wife of 40 years, have three great children and 4 grandchildren, and I have my health! And I know that at least one of the Rock Band’s members is dead from drugs.
    So I feel there is someone who watches over us and gently pushes us towards the path that they want us to take.
    Have faith in yourself, you won’t let yourself down!
    Warm wishes from Wales.

    • Yes sir… You are absolutely right! There is someone above us watching and guiding us… And I guess, everything that happens in life is for a reason, that might not be apparent immediately, but will dawn on us in the future. Like you denying the position of the drummer. Thank you so much for your wishes!! 🙂
      Warm regards,
      Sumithra.

  6. thanks for your recent likes and comment on my India Journal Blog, as well as for following my Not In India BLog. Also thanks for bringing me here. I look forward to exploring further as well. I will be posting mainly on my India Journal Blog for now as I am back in Rishikesh for the time being, so if my adventures interest you, you might enjoy following the India Blog. 🙂 http://janesindiajournals.wordpress.com
    with love light and JOY

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