“It is foolish to suffer in anticipation that which one may or may not have to suffer.” This is something that I fully comprehend, but have never been able to implement. I cannot help but make up various consequences of some small mistake of mine, in my head, each one more imaginative and having bigger repercussions than the previous ones, until I run myself into a state of frenzy. Then, no matter what my hands and mind are occupied with, this little piece of memory keeps a few of my neurons busy in the back of my head, continuously churning it round and round, making me fidgety and grouchy.
It could be anything- a mistake that I make in my exam that will in reality result in me just losing a mark or two, but which will result in a sleepless night, due to my brain conjuring up various scenarios varying from me scoring the lowest amongst all my friends, to eventually, me failing in the course. Or it could be something that I happen to say in the wrong place, at the wrong time. This could of course result in so many many scenarios, depending on the number and the type of people involved. But no matter how little or big the blunder is, my brain always runs overtime, taking maximum advantage of my imagination.
The ones who really suffer from this habit of mine, apart from me of course, are my parents and my roomies. They have to put up with my occasional cribbing when I voice out my exaggerated concerns, and have to pacify me till my qualms have been soothed. But right until the moment that the final outcome is known, they are in for a rough time. I know that this habit of mine can be really irritating at times (if not always!), but I would like to thank them for putting up with me and my exaggerated imaginations, for pacifying me when required, and for sharing the burden and admonishing me when my worrying goes out of hand. Thank you guys, for being there always!!
Though I completely understand the foolishness of this habit of mine and though I have tried my best to accept and follow the adage “There is no use crying over spilt milk”, I have never until now succeeded in following this philosophy. I only hope, that one day, even if it is far away in the future, I become one of those people who say “I am not worried about the outcome of my mistakes. What has happened, has happened. And what will happen, will happen”.